Knowing how to deal with a person - any person - is very important. You cannot handle your partner or spouse the way you deal with a friend or your boss.

It is very important to know what the situation calls for. Under any circumstances, responding with anger is not the wisest thing to do. And many times, completely ignoring the matter or giving a silent treatment also might not be the best way to deal with a problem or conflict.

Communication

Majority of the problems that arise between couples are due to lack of communication or miscommunication. Talking to each other about the problem is important. Putting your problem in words helps both ways; to put the issue out there for both the parties to give it a thought instead of over-thinking about it alone, and to give both the partners a chance to present their case and open up about their thoughts.

Controlling Emotions

Another thing that’s important between partners when solving a problem is doing so in the right state of mind and emotions. For instance, you don’t want to have a ‘talk’ with your boyfriend/husband or girlfriend/wife right after you have had an argument. Give yourself some time to cool down and think straight. This will also allow your partner to have some time to contemplate the situation. Many times, people refrain from admitting their mistake due to heightened emotions and ego. Having a space to cool down and think in a stable state of emotions will increase the chances of having a better solution to the problem and for both the partners to make amends on their behalf.

Choose the Right Words and Tone

This needs to be done consciously and would need a lot of effort and practice to ensure smooth conversations. It is not unnatural to have a conflict in a relationship, but how you express your thoughts and opinions is very determinative about the direction that conflict is going to take. The right words and tone of voice, and having a conversation at the right time, can bring the conflict to a satisfying and reasonable solution. While choosing the wrong words and taking the wrong tone to convey them at an inappropriate time can result in a bigger disaster. 

Be Considerate

Keep it in mind that you and your partner are emotionally vested in the problem, and making a wrong move can hurt them too. Be considerate of their side of the problem and what they have to say about it. To come to an agreeable solution, both the parties need to be aware of each other’s involvement in the conflict and make a reasonable compromise.